reality check

Maybe what my friend has told me all this while are true. I'm like a character in the movie. Always the girl's best friend. He may be having feelings towards her called LOVE but in reality he knows he cant have her.


They share problems with each other, laugh together and try to help each other in difficult times. Like in the movie too, the girl will be in love with a guy and seeks help from her best friend. The guy will try to help eventhough it hurts him and realised how heart broken he is. He'll do it for his friend to make her happy. She dont realise it . No matter how hard or painful he will try his best. To her, he's just a friend. But to him, she means alot.


He loves her but try not to show it. Maybe sometimes leaving small clues for her to discover and thinks that he deserves to be given the opportunity. But life is unfair. He too have feelings. What even hurts more is to see the girl is attached. Be strong.


Often he looks to heaven for answers. Hoping for a change of luck. Maybe he tries so hard that the girl realise that he was caring and trying to help her.


One thing's for sure. He'll never give up on her and keeps his fingers crossed hoping for the best. For now it will be in a steady pace following the flow and giving a strong face.Everytime I see you, I can't help but smile. And everytime, that smile fades when reality comes back because I remember "I have no chance with her." 


THE WORST WAY TO MISS SOMEONE, IS TO HAVE THEM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU & YOU KNOW YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THEM.

change is nature

Remy's dad: The world we live in belongs to the enemy.. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind Remy, when all is said and done we're all we got..

Remy: NO..

Remy's dad: What?

Remy: No, Dad, I dont believe it.. You're telling me the future is, can only be more of this?

Remy's day: This, is the ways things are.. You cant change nature

Remy: Change is nature Dad, the part that we can influence.. and it starts when we decide..

Remy's dad: Where are you going?

Remy: With luck.. Forward

Above was quoted from the movie Ratatouille. It was a random movie played on Disney Channel that happened to be the channel that was tuned in on television. Upon hearing this, i was moved by it and went to find the exact words. I like it, totally.

you.

Seems like going against a brick wall .

Down like a best friend, two homies in the game

When you cry I wanna feel your pain

No secrets, no games

All excitement, nothing plain

Keep you happy

That's my aim

And all you gotta do girl is let me hold you .

bloody scene

It happened so fast that i didn't notice my hand was bleeding. It may be a small cut but it cuts through my skin and could see  my flesh popping out. Wow! i didn't expect to create such scene. haha.  Six plates broke and i was trying to prevent more from breaking so i grab as many as possible. 

Only noticed the whole area was full of blood when i picked up two plates.  Paiseh leh! Alot of people around :P It bleeds non stop for 20 minutes and used up all the bandages but still couldn't stop the blood from gushing. Maybe there's glass in my flesh i dunno. Everyone told me to stitch it up but i refused. Small cut only mah! 

I was too paiseh to the pain. So my friend poured alcohol solution instead of iodine solution to the wound! It stings but i just want it to stop bleeding. Maybe this is a payback from god for what i did to my friend :) 

Blood still oozing out while i'm typing this post. And i'm losing blood fast! Anyone to give me blood donation? hehe :) But i don't think it's a big deal. The most die only lor cause no blood. hahaha! We'll see tomorrow if  its still bleeds, i'll go stitch it up.

P.S: thanks to all my friend who helped me out. I think you guys panicked more than i do especially Bernice! :)

hate me

I don't hold grudges. I get angry quick at times but i forget about it fast. I didn't expect you to be guilty and worse now you're pissed at me. I admit its my fault. You're only asking and not forcing. 


I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to forgive me but its fine.
Sorry if i piss and irritates you. I should be guilty not you :( 


 If this ends our friendship, i just want you to know that i'm very grateful to have a friend like you. Always give motivation and never to give up in relationship :) I like your smile too :) 


i promise i'll tell you in advance if i'm applying for leave next time. I really wanna see you so i make decisions that backfired. Sorry for not informing.


Hate me and i'll face the fact. I just wanna say sorry from the bottom of my heart :( 

moodswings

The day started off well. training was good and did gym today. I'm proud of myself for being able to do benchpress with 40 kg weights. Not bad aye! hahaha. So then went to work. Managed to get myself an offday on wednesday eventhough my manager dont really like it. A friend of mine asked me to go out so i tried my best to cancel my schedule for wednesday.  Just when i thought today is gonna be good, somehing happens. I shall not mention but it totally shuts my mood. Its not as if i'm angry at you but i hate poor decisions. But i'm angry at you too. Sorry if i'm being harsh. To cut the long story short, my wednesday now will be a wasteful day. I'm angry.